The Accessory Not the Outfit

When you're shopping for the perfect get-up for that event you've been looking forward to never does a Woman buy a ring and then plan her entire outfit around that one piece, same goes with men.

Never should you plan your entire life around a man. Remember, he is merely the accessory to your already planned outfit.

Women who make men their entire life, honestly, lack in self-respect. How can you dedicate your life to a person whom (naturally) has different opinions, tastes, behaviors, habits and acts differently than you.

You begin to become a puppet, not the puppeteer.

When becoming involved in a relationship your companion simply should become a compliment to your already established life. If you don't have that established life how can you have a compliment? You cannot, and it's that simple.

Although people say "You can't have your cake and eat it too", let me tell you how not only am I the baker, but I make sugar-free cake for those who can't handle my spice ;]

That being said, let no one, none-the-less a male tell you that you can't have a fulfilled life and a man be your compliment to it.

Because frankly my dear... no accessory ever makes a fashion show.

What Men Love About Women.

Confidence, actually I would say deliberate arrogance.

What woman has never liked a man solely based on his high level of self-esteem. We have all fallen for the trap at least once or twice, but now the joke's on the joker.

I have met a fair share of women in my life time that walk into a room and they exude confidence, and with every stomp of glory they take, men breaking their necks proceed behind them.

Note, every single woman can be THAT woman.

It all begins with having high levels of self assurance. Although it is true that there is always someone better than you at something there is no one better than you at being YOU.

Work with what you have. I personally know I will never be as thin as Kate Moss, but my face and hair are flawless all the time, and those are the money makers.

When I meet a man the first thing he "falls in love" with is my flawless face and hair. And once the fish is hooked all you have to do is reel him in, how often does a fish realize his food was an actual trap? Well by the time he does he's on someone's dinner table. By the time your potential man realizes you aren't exactly a size zero you've already gone shopping with his AmEx.

There is not much I can say to expand this topic because I can say all I know but only you can do all you feel is right.

But frankly my dear... the "cocky-er" the better.

If There's an "If", There's a problem

"If" is a conjunction used in the English language used to present an idea, and defined by Webster's dictionary as: "even though, although perhaps ".

Can we point out what is wrong with using such a conjunction? It expresses feelings of doubt and insecurity. The moment you use the word "If" you are no longer sailing the ship but a mere passenger.

As I expressed in a previous post, it is all about confidence all the time. The moment you were to give a man a command an use the term "If" it looses it's validity of being a command and becomes a regular statement, subject to being ignored.

I told a man who is interested in me that in order to see me he had to come visit me at my workplace because I was having a very busy week and personal time with him was looking close to impossible. Needless to say, he came.

The exact phrase was:

"Well babe, this week is looking somewhat difficult for me but I'm at work, you can swing by and see me here"

Many other women would have phrased it like so:

"Well seeing as how I am pretty busy this week, if you would like to see me you'd have to come visit me at work"

See the difference in the two statements?

Using the conjunction "If" leaves it up to personal interpretation of the statement. "Is she saying it just to be polite?" , "Does she really want me to go, or is it out of pity?"

Then comes other perspective:

"Well, she said IF I wanted to, so I can just say I'm busy now and put it off".

Never leave anything up to a man's decision, it can be fatal. Also, make things clear as often as possible, so you can ALWAYS have the upper-hand in defending your opinion.

Now let's flip the omelet; What happens when a man uses "If"?

Simple he's leaving it up to your personal interpretation of the statement or command about whether or not you'd like to engage in an activity with him or accept his invitation to something, you have full control to decline or accept.

This is great for you because you can always play the card of "Well you said IF I was free... and frankly I wasn't at the moment..."

See ladies how the art of getting things done your way is a game of word play?

If you always use the right words, you always win the game.

And frankly my dear... in my world it's never a game of IF it's a game of when.

Rules of What To Do On A Date

1. Food to eat: Nothing that involves grabbing it with your hands (lobster,crab,ribs). Nothing heavy on sauce that might rub all over your face. Nothing that involves “slurping”, AKA no soup. Go with something you’re comfortable with, know you’ll like (if you send back an order shows you’re a picky bitch) and nothing that makes you chew like you need your wisdom teeth.

2. First date should always involve a setting where there are more people, let it be somewhere with mutual friends, a party, something that says “You interest me, but we’re not getting married”

3. As the dates continue they can become more intimate.

4. As much as they are willing to give is a much as you’re willing to take. 1/3 of what you’re willing to give is all their gonna get. Always have control, it keeps them wanting more and you making the rules.

5. If by date 4/5 you haven’t determined his penis size, whether it be from interaction, “heavy petting”, or for those gifted by Zeus from plain sight this can only mean one thing: RUN.

6. Never accept to hold his hand, don’t be rude and snatch your hand away but politely fix you hair with that hand or fix your attire. Holding hands is a comfort action that signifies this will last longer, and that’s not your motive.

7. Show initiative in your interaction, chose what he’s gonna eat or the movie or the time/place makes them feel comfortable enough to not doubt your motives, and still leaves you in control.

8. Try to not mention anything longer than a sentence about your family, this can go two ways:

- He’ll think you’re a weirdo that wants to marry him already

- He’s the weirdo that thinks this a move towards a future relationship and is now eager to meet your amazing family.

9. No anecdotes about the past unless they are somehow funny and relevant to the conversation. Who gives a shit if you were a chess champ at the age of 8? We’re trying to stick here to NOT getting attached.

10. Monkey see, monkey do, but we’re not that primitive: If he is acting cocky during a date, trying to make you KNOW he’s the man, treat him the complete opposite. Show him how sweet of a woman you are and what a caring individual you are, this will make the conquest and manipulation of his heart easier and the drop harder, but hey, someone’s gotta do it.

Rules to keeping them all on a same level:

When balancing multiple men at the same time there are several steps one needs to take in order to create a balance:

1. A cute nickname that will make them think you have taken your time to pick out a special name for them because they charm you OH so much: Boo. (Also avoids in person confusion of names = WHO’S A SLORE)

2. Never give one of them a privilege you don’t give the rest, this shows favoritism. In the art of having men as pure means of boredom relief the moment you give one more privileges than the other you start loosing control in what is done in the “relationship”. Don’t fool yourself, the moment you show favoritism means you need to cut them loose.

3. Never accept invites to meet family members. This means you are interested in their family, which means you are interested in more than just dating them casually.

4. Gifts with notable price tags are always accepted.

5. Keep the phone calls to a minimum, and when you are talking to them on the phone make a fact to let them know you are taking time out of something else to be talking to them. Makes them feel important, keeps them around longer.

6. Boring conversations= small penis. No way around that. If they had amazing conversations and a small penis they would be married.

7. Never accept any type of personalized gifts with a date written on them or joint names, no no no no no. That means they regard your relationship as something stable, but what they fail to realize is everything with a starting date has an ending date.

Person A or Person B?

Ever met the man you'd think would be the perfect life mate? That guy that seemed to you would be your husband, father of your children, and with whom you'd have a joint j.crew credit card account?

And everything seems to be going great until one day he just stops everything and tells you he can't continue seeing you because:

A) He doesn't know where this is going

B) Doesn't want a relationship (and you obviously do)

C) Wants to "focus on school/work"

Then he pops up on your facebook newsfeed one day that he's "in a relationship" with some girl who shortly you see "picniked" pictures of them together and now they're in love.

Then you start to question yourself ; What did you do wrong? Did you come off to strong at first? And then comes the opposite thoughts, "he's an asshole and that's that."

Truth is, you were Person A.

In life your love interests and you play either of two roles: Person A or Person B.

Person A is that one person you try to convince yourself you should be with but something is missing, so you let it go. Shortly after them comes Person B, the person you know you want to be with and fulfill your soul. Usually this time period is very short, and just as short is your memory of Person A after Person B starts consuming your every thought.

It sucks to be Person A but you served the purpose in that person's life and so did all the Persons A in your life. You were that last taste of freedom for the person you touched before they found their soul mate, and with each Person A role you assume the closer your Person B will be.

Sometimes you're Person A and sometimes you're Person B. And then come those special moments that you're the one to pick between the truth.

And franky my dear... hope that you're always the one that gets to pick.

Oh the choices.

Men come in many varieties:

Different colors, flavors, textures and sizes but never can a women forget that all men come in one design: standard.

A standard household appliance can fit in any kitchen across America and you can dress up the space around it as you chose. You can dress up any man as you chose to fit your environment.

Never forget that as much as a man may seem unruly and savage, with the lightest dab of the wand of tease and a sprinkle of the dust of desire he can become your ultimate dream.

Now, anyone can pose the simple question of how is it possible that one can domesticate a man to her needs.

Like any science experiment, a woman has to make observations, pose a hypothesis, conduct the experiment and then draw conclusions.

Figure out what it is that your man likes, and then from there fight fire with fire. So he thinks he's the last prince of the desert, show him WHO's the woman who has men licking the floor she walks on. Parade the baphoons around him like a carnival show, give him a viewing good enough for an encore.

*Remember* Everyone always wants the unattainable ;]

Once your man sees he's just another number to you his efforts will increase in attaining your attention. When this is assured your domestication process will begin.

But always remember, keep it classy not trashy ;]

What would a REAL woman of the art of the seduction be without poise, mystery and a hint of spice.

And frankly my dear... that's the truth.