Rules of What To Do On A Date

1. Food to eat: Nothing that involves grabbing it with your hands (lobster,crab,ribs). Nothing heavy on sauce that might rub all over your face. Nothing that involves “slurping”, AKA no soup. Go with something you’re comfortable with, know you’ll like (if you send back an order shows you’re a picky bitch) and nothing that makes you chew like you need your wisdom teeth.

2. First date should always involve a setting where there are more people, let it be somewhere with mutual friends, a party, something that says “You interest me, but we’re not getting married”

3. As the dates continue they can become more intimate.

4. As much as they are willing to give is a much as you’re willing to take. 1/3 of what you’re willing to give is all their gonna get. Always have control, it keeps them wanting more and you making the rules.

5. If by date 4/5 you haven’t determined his penis size, whether it be from interaction, “heavy petting”, or for those gifted by Zeus from plain sight this can only mean one thing: RUN.

6. Never accept to hold his hand, don’t be rude and snatch your hand away but politely fix you hair with that hand or fix your attire. Holding hands is a comfort action that signifies this will last longer, and that’s not your motive.

7. Show initiative in your interaction, chose what he’s gonna eat or the movie or the time/place makes them feel comfortable enough to not doubt your motives, and still leaves you in control.

8. Try to not mention anything longer than a sentence about your family, this can go two ways:

- He’ll think you’re a weirdo that wants to marry him already

- He’s the weirdo that thinks this a move towards a future relationship and is now eager to meet your amazing family.

9. No anecdotes about the past unless they are somehow funny and relevant to the conversation. Who gives a shit if you were a chess champ at the age of 8? We’re trying to stick here to NOT getting attached.

10. Monkey see, monkey do, but we’re not that primitive: If he is acting cocky during a date, trying to make you KNOW he’s the man, treat him the complete opposite. Show him how sweet of a woman you are and what a caring individual you are, this will make the conquest and manipulation of his heart easier and the drop harder, but hey, someone’s gotta do it.