If There's an "If", There's a problem

"If" is a conjunction used in the English language used to present an idea, and defined by Webster's dictionary as: "even though, although perhaps ".

Can we point out what is wrong with using such a conjunction? It expresses feelings of doubt and insecurity. The moment you use the word "If" you are no longer sailing the ship but a mere passenger.

As I expressed in a previous post, it is all about confidence all the time. The moment you were to give a man a command an use the term "If" it looses it's validity of being a command and becomes a regular statement, subject to being ignored.

I told a man who is interested in me that in order to see me he had to come visit me at my workplace because I was having a very busy week and personal time with him was looking close to impossible. Needless to say, he came.

The exact phrase was:

"Well babe, this week is looking somewhat difficult for me but I'm at work, you can swing by and see me here"

Many other women would have phrased it like so:

"Well seeing as how I am pretty busy this week, if you would like to see me you'd have to come visit me at work"

See the difference in the two statements?

Using the conjunction "If" leaves it up to personal interpretation of the statement. "Is she saying it just to be polite?" , "Does she really want me to go, or is it out of pity?"

Then comes other perspective:

"Well, she said IF I wanted to, so I can just say I'm busy now and put it off".

Never leave anything up to a man's decision, it can be fatal. Also, make things clear as often as possible, so you can ALWAYS have the upper-hand in defending your opinion.

Now let's flip the omelet; What happens when a man uses "If"?

Simple he's leaving it up to your personal interpretation of the statement or command about whether or not you'd like to engage in an activity with him or accept his invitation to something, you have full control to decline or accept.

This is great for you because you can always play the card of "Well you said IF I was free... and frankly I wasn't at the moment..."

See ladies how the art of getting things done your way is a game of word play?

If you always use the right words, you always win the game.

And frankly my dear... in my world it's never a game of IF it's a game of when.